…by Matt Robert…
We interrupt this broadcast for an important announcement from the fake news channel. If you haven’t already heard, you are a worthless piece of shit who doesn’t have any business having a happy life, so you should just give up, say fuck it and use. You should just give up and settle for less, because this isn’t gonna get any better. Besides, nobody will know…or care.
Sound familiar?
One of the Trumpocalypse’s unintended contributions to the rational world was the reminder that not everything we hear on the news is real. Neither is everything we hear in our heads — especially the automatic negative thoughts blaring from our own fake news channel.
In some fake news stories of foreign origin the English is not quite right. In many of them, regardless of origin, the reasoning is not too solid. Likewise, sometimes the reasoning on our own fake news channel is a bit off: “So what if you got a degree in literature? You don’t know shit.”
Remember the fake news story about Hillary Clinton running a child pornography ring out of a pizzeria in NY city? And the guy who got a gun and drove hundreds of miles to the pizzeria to “save the children”? We too often act on the ridiculous messages that our fake news channel is sending us.
I’ve noticed that, when I was an in-patient or in a treatment program, the fake news network stopped broadcasting, or at least I couldn’t pick it up. I was always puzzled that whenever I was in treatment, I’d do great. Just being there sharpened my awareness. When I came out I’d go along great for a while and then tank. One likely reason: my fake news sources were back in action, broadcasting loud and clear.
So what to do? Well, you can’t change something if you don’t know what it is–and our fake news channel may always be there. Get to know yours — there may be more than one. My most popular channel is on the Self-Blame and Praise-Hater network. “This just in: Everything bad that happens is your fault, and you don’t deserve any credit for a job well-done. And now a word from our sponsor: You suck.” I specifically and mindfully practice noticing when these subtle yet insidious rebroadcasts emerge unbidden.
Fake news triggers urges, and vice versa. The satellite feed for the lead story originated long ago and far away — for some of us the stories started in early childhood. The stories can be as incessant as muzak playing over and over in your head. We have to change the channel to stay ahead of it…to stay in front of the fuck-its. Because when do the fuck-its happen? When terrorists demand action, now — no time to stop and think — or else.
Fake news is now not only a meme but an apt tag for the harmful diatribes that go off in our heads and often drive our behavior. But if we can recognize them, we can label them, and if we can label them, we can stop listening. If we can slow down enough to classify the news as real or fake, then, if it’s fake, we can turn down the volume — all the way down.
What are some things people do to change the channel on their fake news? Please let us know.
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